Rachel or Julie
by BAlaska
Summary: Ten years have passed since the TOW Ross Finds Out was aired. This story delves further into the depth of their feelings. An interpretation. R&R.
1. Prologue

_A story written about TOW Ross Finds Out. This story delves farther into their personal feelings._

_**Story: Rachel or Julie**_

**_Prologue: Confusion_**

_These characters do not belong to me._

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Rachel Green stood looking out of her apartment bedroom window. It was a beautiful autumn day in Greenwich Village. The leaves on the trees in the Village had recently turned the traditional colors of red yellow and orange. The sidewalks were still a strewn with paraphernalia left over from the recent Halloween Parade. Rachel left the window and sat down on her bed. Soon she began reflecting back to events from the past year.

She had chosen an independent lifestyle in Greenwich Village over her marriage and consequently somewhat dependent lifestyle to Dr. Barry Farber in Massapequa. The spoiled quality she brought with her to the city was soon left behind when she began working and accomplishing things on her own. Her social lifestyle had changed from shopping and attending Country Club type events to hanging out with her newly acquired independent friends Monica, Phoebe, Chandler, Joey and Ross. Ross, he was the one she emotionally had the most feelings towards. He had emotionally revealed his feelings to the others without her knowledge. After Chandler mistakenly revealed Ross's romantic feelings towards her, she had ran to the airport to reveal her feelings for him only to find him coming down the jet way with his new girlfriend, Julie. After getting over the initial shock, she later on decided to reveal her feelings to him. Not fully interpreting her feelings towards him correctly, he responded by advising her to find someone with qualities like he had found with Julie.

"Rachel, lunch is ready", Monica informed her from the kitchen.

Rachel coming back to reality replied, "I will be there shortly."

"Rachel, you seen so down lately. What is going on?"

Rachel not wanting to get into the whole Ross situation just shrugged her shoulders.

Monica seeing that she was not going to get any further answers from her changed the subject, "Rachel, I know of someone you might be interested in dating. He is just divorced, a white collar professional and is looking to get out again. Would you be interested?"

When Monica mentioned dating, the thought of Ross immediately passed through her mind. She also was aware it was time to move on. She somewhat despondently responded, "I suppose it wouldn't hurt me to go out on a date."

"Great, I'll set it up", Monica replied somewhat satisfied that she had successfully set up Rachel on a date.

Rachel not yet letting completely letting go of the Ross situation inquired, "Monica. Do you think that Ross is "that" happy with Julie?"

Monica reached over and put her hand on hers in a compassionate manner, "I know you are disappointed that things did not work out with Ross, but he does appear to be happy."

"I know he is, I just feel as though the feelings he had for me are still there and I don't know how to deal with that", Rachel somewhat emphatically replied.

"I know sweetie. I know. Maybe this date will help you to move on."

"I hope so."

Ross Geller stood with his girlfriend Julie outside of Central Perk. Like Ross, Julie was also a Paleontologist and that quality boded well making their bond more solid. He backed her up against the window at Central Perk, kissing her. He intuitively looked inside the coffeehouse trying to spot Rachel. He thought. Why was he was so interested in making sure Rachel saw him kissing Julie? Rachel had not completely left his mind yet and that was beginning to bother him. As of yet no girlfriend had been able to erase Rachel from his heart?

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To be Continued


	2. Chapter 1 The Date

_In this chapter we move on to the date and her state the next morning._

_**Chapter 1: The Date**_

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Rachel stepped out of the shower. She was in her final stages of getting ready. To emotionally move on from Ross and his new girlfriend, Rachel had agreed to go out with Michael, a date setup by Monica. Rachel wrapped the robe around her and finished applying her makeup.

"Rachel, you have another hour to get ready", Monica reminded her from the living room.

Rachel passed through the apartment to her bedroom. Monica was setting on the couch reading a cooking magazine. Rachel sat down on the couch and inquired, "So, tell me more about my date?"

Monica tucking her legs under her pulled the blanket tighter about her, finally looked up from her magazine and replied, "He is somewhat attractive, with a rather quiet nature. He is newly divorced which means he may be somewhat nervous."

"Oh", Rachel replied. She so wished she could muster up some excitement with her oncoming date. She knew part of her excitement was partially repressed by the recent situation with Ross. She was still emotionally tied to them becoming a couple.

The waiter escorted Rachel and Michael to their table. After their orders were taken and the formalities were over, Michael began the conversation, "I don't know if Monica told you or not, but I am newly divorced. This is my first date since then."

Rachel somewhat distracted finishing her glass of champagne, poured herself another one, "How long do cats live?"

"Uh, what?"

"How long do cats live?"

"Maybe 15 or 16 years."

"Great."

Michael held up his glass for a toast, "Cheers."

"Oh right, clink", Rachel puts down her glass.

Michael feeling a bit insecure at her distraction, replied, "I guess Monica told you I was cuter than I am."

"Oh, it's not you, it's that a friend of mine got a cat with his girlfriend."

"Oh."

"They just started dating, you know?"

"Is he an old boyfriend?"

Rachel continuing to down the champagne chuckled, "He wishes he had been. So lets talk about you."

"Alright."

"Have you ever gotten a pet with any of your old girlfriends?"

After their dinner was completed Rachel poured the last bit of the champagne bottle into her glass.

"It's a cat you know. Why couldn't they get fruit flies? They only live a day or so."

The waiter came to the table, "Would you like some desert?"

Michael wishing the date had been over with long ago replied, "No, check please."

"Oh my you aren't having a good time, are you?"

"I have been playing the movie _Diner_ over several times in my head."

Rachel very inebriated looked intently at her date for the past hour, "Oh my, I have been on a date with a really great guy and all I have been able to talk about is Ross and his Julie. How can I get over this?"

"Listen, I have been through a divorce and you are going to be fine. All you need is closure", Michael replied while looking at the check.

"Closure, that's it."

Rachel looked around the restaurant for someone with a cell phone, "Excuse me, hello, whoo…excuse me", Rachel almost falls off her chair. "Can I borrow your phone for a minute?"

The man replied, "Hey, can't you see I am talking?"

"I can see that, just one phone call, I'll be very quick."

With his wife encouraging him, he reluctantly handed her the phone.

Rachel dials Ross, "Hi Ross; it's Rachel. I just wanted to call you to say I am fine and happy for you and your…cat. I think you should name your cat Michael, which means I am over you, which further means I am over you." Rachel finishing the call tossed the phone into the champagne bucket.

Rachel awoke the next morning. The street lamps rays shone through her bedroom window. She smelled fresh coffee brewing. Monica was already up. What day was this? Rachel sat up in bed and looked over at her nightstand. The room started spinning around. She quickly laid her head back down on the pillow. What had happened?

"Rachel, I am leaving for work. I left some coffee for you. If you leave, don't forget to turn off the coffee maker?" Monica replied while walking out of the door.

Shortly after Monica left, Rachel decided it was time to get out of bed. She sat up in bed. She still felt somewhat woozy, however; the room had discontinued to spin around as it had before. She stood up. With her equilibrium still not fully intact, she quickly sat back down on the bed. A few minutes later, she stood back up and slowly made her way into the bathroom. After taking a cold shower and dressing, she next discovered she had a pounding headache. She acquired a bottle of aspirin from the bathroom filled a glass of water and sat down at the kitchen table.

The door suddenly opened and in walked Ross, "Hey Rach."

"Oh, how was your date?"

"Well there was a restaurant, and I know there was wine", Rachel confusingly looked at Ross trying to remember something or a conversation she had recently had with him.

"Well…uh…Julie is downstairs getting a cab. Did Monica say where the cat toy was? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Did we speak last night? I felt as though we spoke."

"Oh", Ross replies as he goes over to pick up the cat toy.

"Did we speak on the phone last evening?"

"No, I spent the night at Julie's."

"What?"

"Oh, by the way, do you care if I check my messages?"

"No, go ahead", Rachel replies as she heads for the bedroom to lie down.

Ross dials the phone, "Hey, Rach…I got a message from you. Who is Michael?"

The question suddenly brought back last evening, the date with Michael, the restaurant, the champagne and the phone call to Ross telling him she was over him. She frantically ran into the kitchen and jumped on his back, "Oh my God no, Ross no, give me the phone, give me the phone." She finally grabs the phone and throws it into the sink.

Ross looking somewhat confused by the her message replied, "Your over me?"

Rachel climbed down off his back and headed over to the couch. "Well, ok…uh…uh…lately I have sort of had feelings for you."

Ross still confused replied, "You have feelings for me?"

"Well so what…you had feelings for me first."

Ross somewhat embarrassingly replied, "What? How did you…how did you know about that?"

"Chandler told me, before you went to China", Rachel somewhat pausing…"before Julie."

"Julie…Oh my Julie…Oh my, I need to lie down. No I am going to stand…I'm walking…so are you over me now?"

Rachel somewhat shyly looks up and replies, "Are you over me?"

They both stood there silent not know what to do or what to say. The situation was too big for both of them to handle, especially with the complication of Julie.

The doorbell buzzer suddenly rings. Ross walks over and pushed the button, "That's probably Julie. Hi Julie."

"Hey Honey, I have a cab waiting."

Ross sounding upbeat answers, "I will be down shortly."

Rachel standing by somewhat silent, inquires, "Wait, you're leaving?"

"I can't deal with this right now. I have a cab waiting…Julie…cat."

"Ok", Rachel replied as she closed the door. She had never felt lower.

Ross walked down the stairs still in shock over Rachel's revealing her feelings for him. Two months ago he would have been ecstatic, but now feelings of confusion swept over him. He had a girlfriend.

Ross entered the lobby of the apartment building appearing somewhat pale and distracted. "Ross are you ok?"

"Yeah, I guess. Julie, would you mind putting off getting the cat today? I am not feeling very well. You can take the cab home and I will call you later."

"Ok", Julie left and got into the cab. On the way back to her apartment she reflected back on their last conversation. She felt something was brewing. Ross had not looked directly at her when he spoke, which meant he was definitely hiding something.

Ross sat down on the couch in his apartment. He had a decision to make and it was not a pleasant one. He liked Julie and wanted their relationship to continue, however, he had known and loved Rachel for years. If only he had known of her feelings previous to meeting Julie…it would make the decision so much easier. Ross went over to the window and looked out over the village. Lights, one by one were lighting up the village. The day was beginning to wind down.

Thoughts of Carol suddenly entered his mind. She was his intellectual counterpart and she ended up leaving him for another woman. Julie was also his intellectual counterpart. Perhaps she could fill that emptiness left over from Carol.

Ross had made his decision. He grabbed his coat and headed for the coffee house.

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To be Continued


	3. Epilogue The Kiss

**_This is the epilogue for Rachel or Julie…hope you have enjoyed the story._**

**_Epilogue: The Kiss_**

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Rachel cleared off the tables as the last customer left Central Perk. The emptiness in the coffee house matched her desolated feelings inside. Ross was all but gone…something inside of her told her it was not quite yet over.

Ross took a deep breath before he entered Central Perk. Rachel was alone with her back to him at the counter. For a short time, he just stood there silently watching her. Even though the coffeehouse was somewhat dark, her perfect beauty captured him. He could smell her scent in the air. An uncontrollable desire to go over and kiss her swept over him. Where was this all coming from? Had he not already made his decision? Suddenly she turned around and reality became evident again.

Rachel stood there somewhat shocked that it was Ross stood there for a minute not knowing what to say. He looked so unattainable and that made him even more desirable. Drops of rain ran from his coat fell to the floor in a small puddle. They stood there for a moment looking at each other, not knowing quite how to approach each other or their uncomfortable situation.

Rachel still somewhat stunned by the uncomfortable situation could not think of anything to say except, "Hi."

"I didn't get a cat", Ross replied. He stopped, that sounded like he had just changed his mind about Julie.

"Oh, that's interesting", Rachel not knowing quite what to say slowly stumbled into the conversation.

With her slight lack of interest in his statement he then reverted back to his preplanned decision by informing her, "It's the farthest thing from interesting. In fact, it is about 100 percent completely opposite of interesting."

Rachel, sort of stunnedwith his change of mind replied a somewhat short manner, "Alright, I get it Ross."

With her last statement Ross was now becoming more determined, replied back, "You had no right telling me you had feelings for me."

Rachel angrily replied in a somewhat louder unbelieveable tone, "What?"

"Hey, I was doing great with Julie, before I found out about you."

"Hey, I was doing great until I found out about you. Do you think it is easy for me to see you with Julie?"

"Then you should have said something before I met her."

"I didn't know then. And how come you never said anything to me?"

"There was never a good time."

"Right Ross, you only had a year. We hung out practically every night."

Not…not…not every night. And you know…and it's not like I didn't try. But things got in the way, like Italian guys, or ex-fiancés."

"If I remember right, there was one Italian guy. Please just get to the point."

"The point is, I am happy now. It's too late. I'm happy. This ship has sailed."

"So what you are saying is that you can just put your feelings aside or whatever the hell is was you felt for me?"

"Hey, I have been doing it since the ninth grade. I've gotten pretty damn good at it."

"Alright Ross, you go ahead and do that."

"Fine."

"Cause, I don't need your stupid ship."

"Good", Ross replied as he left the coffee house slamming the door.

Rachel ran over and opened the door and replied, "And you know what, now I have closure."

Rachel slammed and locked the door. She wanted to make sure he would not get back in again. How could she have been such a fool? Shortly, her anger subsided and the thought of losing him completely to another woman suddenly overtook her emotions. She sat down on the couch, buried her head in her hands and cried.

Ross slowly walked away from the coffee house. The more distance he put between the two of them the more frightened he became. He could not stand the thought of losing Rachel. He had loved her too many years. He liked Julie but he was not in love with her. Rachel was the one he was in love with. He turned and ran back to the coffee house. When he arrived, the door was locked. Suddenly, he felt locked out of her life. He looked through the window. She was setting on the couch.

Rachel, determined to move on, stood up from the couch. Every type of fear suddenly enveloped her. Someone was starring at her through the window. Oh my God, IT WAS ROSS! She unconsciously walked over to the door and unlocked it. Ross, the lovesick puppy stood outside patiently waiting. He wanted her so badly. What was taking her so long? She tried opening the door, but it would not open.

Ross seeing her dilemma advised, "Try the bottom one."

She unlocked it and opened the door. She stood there silently waiting for her prince to come through the door.

Ross stood there for a second. He had never wanted anyone this badly, even his wife Carol.Rachel stood there silent and appeared vulnerable which made her even more desirable. He walked through the door. Suddenly their lips met in a soft kiss. Her hands softly stroked his face while he placed his hands first softly on her waist and then around her. Feelings of past rejections, his, a repressed love for many years; hers, a woman that threatened to take away the most perfect man she had ever known. The guilt of their desire for each other melted away as they sank farther into the kiss. At that moment, they both knew,his love and her wishes had conquered all.

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**THE END**


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